The Lance of Marduk

Entry Twelve

A Tiefling's Story

Thank the gods for Phalanx’s concoction, I haven’t been this stone cold drunk in a month. I promised I wouldn’t drink, I promised I wouldn’t return to that horrid, loathsome place at the bottom of my psyche, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t just hurt myself in the same way again. Aryawwn… I had to let her go… it’s for her own good… Trestin is alive; her love, her fiancé, her best friend.
I guess I should play a bit of catch-up, after we left Winterhaven we traveled back to Fallcrest. We spent a while there restocking our supplies. Bjorn bought a pig for some reason, Mariel, she is beyond adorable. Helped us find truffles on our way to Milo. Oh yeah, we made the five day trek across the Vale to Milo, Aryawwn’s home town. Both in Fallcrest and when we camped, Aryawwn and I slept in the same bed; it’s been so long since I felt the warmth of another… I know what you’re thinking, but heaven’s no nothing happened. It’s just been so long since I held someone… or someone held me… and once again that’s gone. Damn I know how to pick them, don’t I; either it’s a one night stand or they are already bound to another. I can get this happening to a gal once, but thrice? Damn I really know the perfect ways to break my own heart. Vesta… Melanie… now Aryawwn… I’m beginning to think fate hates me.
We got to Milo to learn that it had gone through some nasty political upheavals, and apparently dear Aryawwn is now a princess, as her father, Luther, is now Milo’s King. Cadrin… I think that’s what they call the inner circles of the city. Apparently the rebellion is still underfoot as there was an attack on the outer wall, but no one was hurt. That night Aryawwn ran into the forest, we had to follow after her. I was worried something would happen to her. My mind raced with images… Ghouls mostly… I will never shake that night. In an odd flash of light we found her alone in a glade. She was on her knees. I rushed to her and held her in my arms, told her that we were there for her, and kissed her on the forehead. In a surprising reaction she pushed me away and cut into her arm with the dwarven dagger. She had hatred in her eyes… the look broke me… what had I done wrong… I failed her. I could feel my soul boiling, and I could feel my eyes roll back in my head. I didn’t want to let her see me like this… I didn’t want to see her like that… I ran… I could think of anything else to do but run… once again I ran… some friend I am… some hero I am… I didn’t help her… I didn’t protect the baby… maybe I am better off gone, maybe they were right and maybe he was right.
The thoughts of my uncle’s words rang in my head once again. Some days I believe he was right… I don’t wish to talk about it. Phalanx, Sydienne, Bjorn, and I headed out to follow the lead of the terrorists attack on the outer walls. We did find an outpost in the forest. We tried to speak with them; I didn’t want to kill anyone… If anything I didn’t want to get myself involved with this war. I can’t stand war, especially if they are civil wars. There is so much needless death over things that are unimportant, of little importance, or of importance to only those at the top. I can’t stand killing people (any sentient really), unless they are murders (This includes warlords and genocidal pricks), rapists, or in allegiance with forces that wish to destroy innocent lives, but these people just want to be free and I can respect that. But three men ended up dead, and we ended up captured. We were brought to their camp but were soon rescued by an interesting band of people. Aryawwn was leading them. I came to learn the big fellow was named Doric, he and Phalanx became fast friends. There was a ranger, for all their buildup, they really aren’t as interesting as they think they are, and he was no different. There was a bard, Emile was his name, and he seemed to by hitting it off with Bjorn. Upon the sight of my beloved Aryawwn I ran into her arms. I looked into her eyes, mine still a blank white, and I saw something was wrong. That’s when I saw him… Trestin… he was alive. Upon this realization my soul split in two, I smiled at her and I told her that very few people ever get a second chance, especially like this. I asked Trestin to take good care of her and I kissed him on the cheek, and left her with him. I am so happy for her… but my heart has been swallowed, it happened again. My mind turned to Vesta… motherly and sweet, as close as we got, I knew I had to let her go, she was married and I didn’t want to take that from her. I thought of Melanie… free-spirited and beautiful, I had to let her go, she had a lover and I wouldn’t take her away from her. I do not recall the names of my drunken flings, only present to make me forget about how alone I was. Now dear Aryawwn… he is more important to you, and I will not take you from him… Once again I was alone… on our way back all I wanted was a drink and to drown in my self-loathing… drunkenly strum and longingly stare… my mind focusing only on my precious desert flower.
But we were stopped on our way to the bar… five guards clad in Black Armor… they took us deep in a crypt to what I think was meant to be a torture chamber… turned interrogation room. The old veteran did the questioning, all about the rebels… first Bjorn, then Phalanx… he asked me about who was helping them and what they were planning. I told him straight up that the elves were helping them, and that they were preparing for war. The Veteran told me that the war was over. “It’s only over when both sides concede”, I replied. He hit me, the blow was quite hard. Like a fucking idiot I reply to such a dick move with a smirk, he slapped me again. Bjorn stood up for me, but he was lucky that he didn’t get his head lopped off. The Veteran then went over to Sydienne. I couldn’t hear her, but whatever she said didn’t please him, he slapped her. I seethed with rage. Who was this bastard who seemed to only get his panties filled by smacking around women who couldn’t even draw a blade on him? We were released and Aryawwn came to my aid, asking if I was alright. I was glad to see she didn’t hate me, that she still cared. But my heart sank when I looked at her.
We finally were able to go to the bar, everyone having a jolly-good time. I sat in the corner with my lute, strumming the tune to the song “Big River” by a traveling Bard named John. I drank alone, away from everyone else; though my eyes darted around. Everyone seemed so happy. Sydienne even got to drinking. Bjorn was talking with Emile, and Aryawwn sat with Trestin. Phalanx walked up to me, and we had a talk. I don’t know where I’d be with him. He is kind of like that big brother I never had, almost like Kesef, except not as silly… now that I think of it Kesef was more like Bjorn. I apparently got drunk enough to trip over my massive Rapunzeline pony-tail, in rage I told it to fuck-off and with a flash of the dwarven dagger I lopped off my pony-tail. Picking up the massive bundle of hair I tossed it to some unknown direction never to see it again. Maybe I was letting go of the past, maybe I was getting rid of something that was weighing me down, or maybe I just needed a haircut.
~Khuda Hafiz (Gods Preserve You)
Phenex Bat-Laylah



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